In a recent visit to my sister's, a conversation between the two of us and her husband ended up on the topic of PMS. That conversation and a more recent conversation with my own fiancé put the idea of this post into my head. Now gentlemen, please bear with me! This post is directed at you, and no, I won't yell and tell you that you're wrong. I promise!
First of all, let me clarify the difference of PMS and our Period which you may or may not remember from sex-ed back in high school. PMS is the time before our Period arrives which turns that beautifully intelligent, witty, funny, sexy woman in your life into a crazy person you don't recognize. It brings on random bouts of weeping for no reason, lots of yelling and hurt feelings, we gain up to a pant size in bloating and, the only somewhat redeeming quality if you're lacking in the area like me, our boobs grow. Our Period, on the other hand show up after we turn into a person you no longer recognize as a little prize at the end of our bout with our crazy alter ego. Best. Prize. Ever!
I know the first thing you want to do when our dear friend PMS shows up and turns us into an irrational being that you are trying to have a civil conversation with is ask us if we're "PMS-ing" or "on the rag". Please believe me when I tell you, there is no worse question in the world you could possibly ask unless you are trying to prolong living with a woman who is a crazy she devil! This seemingly innocent question might lead the woman you love to envision pulling your scrotum out through your mouth. Not something you ever want us to do and believe me when I tell you, we don't want to do that either! But every time you ask us that question, there is a good chance this exact thought goes through our heads.
I am more than willing to admit that I wouldn't want to be around me during the 4 days that lead up to my Period and believe me, I would stop this bout with crazy if I could. I am not a pleasant person. I cry at the drop of a hat and I hate crying! Some days all it takes to turn me into a sobbing nightmare is the word Hi. Pretty threatening and upsetting, I know. I've also been known to think everything that someone says (completely innocuous things) are because someone is mad at me and I've done something wrong. Thank you irrational self! I can go from laughing to crying in a nanosecond for no reason what so ever and yes, I will try on everything in my closet and then promptly declare that I am fat and I need new clothes.
The thing that is so funny about this insane person that we turn into every month is just that. It happens; Every. Single. Month! Yet, when it starts happening it is always a puzzle to us as to why we're acting like a nut case. Perhaps I am speaking out of turn here and it's just me that this 4 days of insanity sneaks up on but I'm thinking the crazy alter ego in the woman you love surprises her too when she shows up. We don't enjoy crying at commercials for no reason, craving and then eating a whole carton of ice cream when we are trying to lose weight or yelling at you for folding our socks wrong. We know these are characteristics of a nutbar and if we could stop them from happening, we would.
There is nothing more frustrating than being irrational for no reason! So the next time you notice any of the characteristics I've mentioned above, give us a big hug and tell us you love us. Those of us with a fighting spirit will try our best to push you away and that's probably exactly where you want to be, as far away from us as possible. But trust me, this small gesture does wonders in letting us know that even though we are completely bat shit crazy, we still have one person in this world who loves us anyways!
Love and Happiness,
Lisa
